“We love because he first loved us.”
1 John 4:19
Happy Tuesday sweet friends. Most Tuesdays I share a tablescape, but I have been under the weather the past three days. In my place, my romantic and sentimental husband has written a beautiful message for Valentine’s Day. I know you will enjoy his thoughts.
Perhaps love is like a resting place, a shelter from the storm
It exists to give you comfort, it is there to keep you warm
And in those times of trouble when you are most alone
The memory of love will bring you home
Perhaps love is like a window, perhaps an open door
It invites you to come closer, it wants to show you more
And even if you lose yourself and don’t know what to do
The memory of love will see you through”
-John Denver
John wrote and sang a beautiful song that speaks somewhat to the human condition when it comes to this thing called love. In our humanness we must constantly work on loving and being loved..it isn’t automatic. I’ve heard a lot about “love at first sight”. Even so, it’s not “boom, got ‘er done.” Only Christ, on a cross, in that moment of love’s greatest expression and demonstration can proclaim “It is Finished”. (John 19:30)
I’ve heard it said that people don’t really “fall in love”. Those holding this view usually insist that love is really a choice we make. We choose to love-period! Plus nothing, minus nothing. I personally believe that both falling and choosing are true. They are intertwined and together encompass “being in love”.
Pam and I will celebrate our 47th anniversary this month, and we’ve known each other almost 50 years. It is fact that when it comes to this “love” business we have both made thousands of choices. Choices that focus on our love for each other over the course of many years. And those choices are what nourishes our love and causes it to continue to grow.
But I do remember and still cherish those memories of the first sight, the first date, the conversations and the getting to know each other. Going places together, laughing, listening to our favorite songs, and just having fun. Then this indescribable, exciting, nervous, giddy feeling started slowly coming over me at certain times and special moments. The frequency increased and one day I realized through all of this…“I’ve been falling…and I like it!” Once I knew I was “falling”, I started “choosing”, and also praying that Pam was “falling”.
If you want to accept love being 100% choosing, then that is absolutely fine.
Just don’t attempt to take away my “falling”-it’s too sweet and too real! It’s not possible to pinpoint an exact time it happened, therefore it is a process. Hence, falling-present tense; not fell-past tense.
Still ongoing!
Don’t let love die! Water it with “falling”to keep it alive…vibrant and fresh. Nourish it with “choosing” to give strength and allow new growth.
Best of all-God loves all of us and demonstrated His love through Christ while we were unlovely and unloveable. A choice, yes! The Greatest Love, yes! God doesn’t need us, per se. He is complete, lacking nothing. So, our love for Him adds nothing to Him, and our lack of love for Him takes nothing away from Him. But He chose and chooses to set His affections upon us, regardless. He chooses to dwell with us and in us. And that is love, because God is love. He just is.
A line in a chorus I wrote a long time ago says;
“I wish I could love Him as much as He loves me; Jesus Christ is everything I need.”
Thank you for your visits and gracious comments. Wishing you and yours a Happy Valentine’s Day!
Linking with:
Pieced Pastimes, Between Naps on the Porch, Katherines Corner, Follow The Yellow Brick Home,
Imparting Grace, Calypso in the Country
Nancy says
What beautiful words that really explain the live between two.
Happy 47 years! What a blessing.
And Pam feel better my friend. 🙏🏻
Nancy says
*love not live
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Knew what you meant 🥰
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you my friend. Trying to feel better.
Linda Chapin says
I needed to see this on a difficult day. Thank you for this ministry.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
I am so thrilled it ministered to you Linda 🙏🏻
Bonnie Morgan says
Butch, thank you for putting into words so beautifully how love grows and is nourished and about God’s love for us. Happy Anniversary and Happy Valentines Day.
Pam, I ‘m so sorry you have been under the weather. Rest, rest, and rest some more.You are in my prayers.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you sweet Bonnie. I am slowly recovering. We have reservations at Bottega tomorrow night, I hope I feel like going.
inspiredbyjoydianne says
Butch, this is one of the most amazing pieces of work ever written about love. I agree that we fall, we choose and we love because God first loved us. What a beautiful girl you fell for. Pam is such an amazing person. I pray she is well soon. You two have some celebrating to do. May God continue to bless you and this beautiful family. You all are certainly a blessing to me.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you dear Dianne. You are a wonderful blessing to me. Butch appreciates your kind comments. Enjoy your cruise♥️
Della says
What a beautiful Valentine message Butch. Happy Valentine’s Day to the both of you. May God bless the two of you and prayers for you Pam to feel better soon.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you Della for your sweet words. I am slowly recovering ♥️
Rita C. says
Wow, Butch, your words are powerful! May you & Pam be blessed all the days of your lives, and into eternity. Happy 47th Anniversary.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you dear Rita and Butch thanks you also z♥️
Shannon@Belle Bleu Interiors says
Butch, such a beautiful post, and perfect for this Valentine’s week. Sweet friend, I hope you feel better soon. Take care of yourself. Happy Valentine’s week to you both!!!
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you dear friend. I am taking care of myself, haven’t left the house since Saturday. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and hubby ♥️
marmeladegypsy says
Well, first of all, happy anniversary this month! And I’ll never take away your falling (or mine!). Yes, I fell, I chose, and I live that love every day. I can see you and Pam do too. I’m sending some good get well wishes to Pam so she can be full-on up to par when your anniversary arrives and thanks to you, Butch, for a beautiful and thought-provoking post.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you dearest Jeanie and warm thanks from Butch as well. I am slowly recovering and thank you for your get well wishes. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Rick!
ellen says
Thank you, Butch. the two of you are amazing and inspiring people. I just read your story about the accident the other day. Sharing your experience meant so much to me. It gives me hope. God is so good. I loved Pam’s comment about her journey to trust God. I felt a lot of pressure to be able to trust God. Why was I having so much trouble? Just knowing that it is a journey helped me to not be so hard on myself. I pray that Pam will feel better soon and wish you both a very loving Valentine’s Day!
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you dear Ellen. I will be praying for you. I am slowly recovering. Blessings ~
Michelle says
This is just so sweet!!! I hope you feel better soon!
the Painted Apron says
What huge hearts you both have, and Butch your expression and definition of love are quite beautiful. I think we all remember the magical “falling” part…you are so blessed that you found each other and have let your love grow and be nourished for 47 years. Take good care of Pam so you can go on your anniversary getaway!
Jenna
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you dear Jenna. I am hoping to feel well enough to come to Birmingham tomorrow evening for dinner. Butch made reservations a couple of weeks ago.
Roxanne Bernard says
Butch, this beautiful ministry brought tears to my eyes. I’ve already read it twice, and I plan to share it with my small group at church. We are right behind you with 47 in April. One reason I think the divorce rate is so high among young people is because they give up when the going gets tough. Marriage is not easy, no matter how much you love your spouse! Pam, my sweet friend, I am praying for your speedy recovery.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Roxanne. I remember your anniversary was right behind ours and that you married in ‘73. Marriage takes work from both, and it isn’t 50/50, it is 100/100. Happy Valentine’s Day to you both ♥️
Clara says
What wonderful words of love Butch. Love grows as we age together. Sweet, funny memories being recalled helps love thrive. God’s love is perfect! Happy 47th anniversary to you both! Pam, hope you feel better soon! As usual, your blog is so encouraging & enjoyable! Happy Valentine’s day to you both! Clara ♥️
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you dear Clara. I am slowly recovering. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and hubby ♥️
Brenda says
Such beautiful words of love and testimony of God’s love for us. What a lovely pair you two are! Happy, happy anniversary and Valentine’s day! Pam, I’m praying you are feeling well even now as I write this. God bless you both and your precious family.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you dear Brenda. I am feeling better and thank you for your prayers. Happy Valentine’s Day ♥️
dolores says
Friends Pam and Butch, I think I’m not going to say anything about the whole message that Butch has left us. I think I couldn’t say anything else … Everything about love is felt in his words, no doubt, written by the soul.
We read them many times that we need to know what love is … They are so beautiful … many thanks, friends Pam And Buth
A hug
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Dolores, gracias amiga mía! Dios es tan bueno y fiel. Le agradecemos por su gracia, sin merecimiento seguro. Amor y abrazos ♥ ️
Bobbie T says
We do fall but we choose how we get up and continue the love. You and Pam have been so blessed and I count you among my many blessings. I look forward to each post irregardless of who pens it. Praying Pam is better soon and can enjoy a special Valentine’s celebration with you and your upcoming anniversary.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Bobbie. You are a special blessing. I think of you and your hubby, you are in my prayers 🙏🏻
Nancy Brantley says
Beautiful post about love. YES GOD LOVED US FIRST! TRUE LOVE IS FROM THE HEART NOT MIND! Wishing both of you A Sweet Valentine and Anniversary. Pray you get well soon Pam.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Nancy. God is always faithful and loving. ♥️
Linda H says
Wonderfully said! We need to choose to love more each day! Our God is so great! He gives us opportunities to choose love more and more everyday! Choosing to love, even when we want to give up on people or our current situation. Congratulations on your 47 years of love and marriage! Hubby and I just celebrated 45 years and I pray God gives us many, many more!
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Linda. Happy 45 years to you and hubby and wishing you many more. The years go by too fast. Happy Valentine’s Day to both of you ♥️
Heritage Hall says
I espouse the Hebrew idea of Bershert – destined for one another…as ordained by God, but it is up to us to acknowledge,
nurture and support it’s evolvement. Like His, it is an unconditional love that says, “Your happiness is my happiness, nothing less.” It grows, and like that wonderful series, “love isn’t fireworks; sometimes love comes softy.” it is even more meaningful when it is hard-earned through giving more of oneself. The radiance of your love shines through, dear Pam and Butch and
Butch’s words are a testimony to the wisdom and reward that come when love is truly embraced in each other. How blessed
you are….hold it fast, dear ones. Happy St. Valentine’s Day and Anniversary.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Mary, Butch and I thank you for your encouraging words and kindness. God is faithful and true, His grace and mercy are so undeserved. Love and hugs ♥️
Alice Genzlinger says
Wordsworth could not have said it more beautifully. Through sickness and through health and it’s when the sickness comes that true love comes to the light. My sweetheart and I have been blessed with a well cemented marriage for 30 years this June. This past year I was given a test and my husband passed, I didn’t. Now when he holds my finger, yes finger not hand, it moves me to tears because he didn’t give up when I wanted to. Sweet Butch and Pam, I pray you will have many more years of love, good, health, and Gods blessings.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you for your kind comments Alice. I am happy your husband never gave up. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and your hubby ♥️
creationsbycindyphotography.blogspot.com says
Such a sweet and precious post Butch. Happy Valentines day to you both. Hugs and blessings, Cindy
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Cindy. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and hubby ♥️
Maristella says
Happy Anniversary! Happy Valentine’s Day! Adorable photo and wonderful post. Thank you sincerely. I hope Pam gets better soon.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Maristella. ♥️
Anonymous says
Beautiful, Butch. As one who has known you and Pam for many years and watched your love in action, I am proud to be able to say you both have “walked your talk” of loving each other and our heavenly Father. You both are a true inspiration. Lots of love to you both.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you dear friend. Your sweet words are so meaningful. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Mike♥️
Patti Fralix says
Butch and Pam, the above from “anonymous” is from me. I don’t know what I did, but hopefully I won’t make the same mistake this time!
Pam @ Everyday Living says
So glad you clarified, Patti.
Linda Tietjen says
I so enjoyed your post after reading it tonight! His love is our greatest love indeed! Happy 47th anniversary and Happy Valentine’s Day! “Perhaps Love” by John Denver is a favorite of my husband and mine…we will be celebrating our 48th in July! (Feel better soon, Pam!)
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Linda. Enjoy celebrating your 48th this July and Happy Valentine’s Day ♥️
Mary says
Pam, What a beautiful love letter Butch wrote to you! Happy almost-anniversary. Hope you’re feeling better ♥
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Mary. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and hubby ♥️
Sandra at Maison De Jardin says
Butch, this is such a beautiful post of love. You and Pam are a real love story, a lovely example of what marriage can and should be. Wishing you both a most special anniversary and may your future days be full of love and happiness.
Sending Pam, wishes to feel better soon.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Butch and I thank you Sandra for your lovely words. Happy Valentine’s Day to you and Michael ♥️
Cheryl says
What a beautiful, meaningful post! Congratulations to you and Pam for 47 years of marriage! You are both a great inspiration and blessing here on this blog. I am so sorry to hear that Pam is ill and am praying for her now. May God bless you both with many more happy healthy years together!
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you dearest Cheryl. Happy Valentine’s Day!♥️
Michele Morin says
Wendell Berry has one of his fictional characters (Hannah Coulter) talk about being in the “room of love.” When you are “in love,” you are in company with so many wonderful people.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
So true and thank you Michele!
Jenny Benton says
Such beautiful writing, Happy Valentine to you both, and many more!
Tea With Jennifer says
Great post Butch! I believe in “falling in love” & “choosing to love” too…
Pam sorry to hear you haven’t been feeling well sweet friend, praying you recover soon! ♥
Bless you both,
Jennifer
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you sweet Jennifer❤️
Linda says
Such beautiful words you wrote for the love of your life, Pam. It comes from his heart and soul. Pam, I hope you are feeling better now. I love this post and all of it’s beauty. Such a pleasure to see true love.
Pam @ Everyday Living says
Thank you Linda. You are a sweetheart.